My husband and I just celebrated 16 years married. From my experience watching other marriages, I figured by now we’d be fighting for our marriage before it inevitably ended in divorce. Just a few years from now is when my parents split. I’ve watched as my siblings have ended marriages and, quite honestly, most of my friends have landed in divorce court, too. So why would mine be any different?

I always hoped to be the one who lasts in a marriage. Dreamed of matching rocking chairs on the front porch when we are too old for this crazy world. People watching since we couldn’t get around well enough to be a part of the crowd. It was always the plan, but the world doesn’t value marriage like it ought to. Marriage is harder because of societal pressure. I’d venture to say impossible.

But God.

We started with God. He’s wound His beautiful promises into our relationship well before we wed. Intertwined like a braid with a golden strand; He was there before our marriage and He’s here now. We are able to go to Him in the hard times, the good times and all the in-betweens. We go before Him together — and on our own.

We have learned to follow His path. We’ve studied the Bible together, prayed together and listened to the Word of God until we know the way He has for us.

It’s not easy. It’s not luck. It’s work and sometimes it’s HARD work! There have been many sacrifices, losses and we have fallen down repeatedly.

The hubs and I are able to outlast, recover from and love through because we know what God’s plans are for marriage, family and our future. We know He is good and He works all things out. We know He’s rooting for us. We know truth and love and acceptance. We know we are valued, heard and provided for. We know we aren’t the end all, be all. We know we can’t always be there for one another, can’t be the perfect partner ALL of the time. But our Savior can and we look to Him in the times of frustration, resentment and loss. He is our healer, our provider and the one who created love.

The world says nobody is perfect, but in my mind, my husband IS perfect. He can be because I don’t look to him for every need to be met, for every sentence I say to be heard, for him to catch every tear and pay every bill. I look to him in times of need and he leads me back to Christ. He doesn’t have all the answers, but he knows someone who does. He encourages me to spend time at the feet of Jesus. To be still and wait. To pray alone and together. He encourages me to spend time in fellowship with others who will lead me to Christ. See- my perception of my husband doesn’t stop at his ability- it stops at God’s… and God’s ability is infinite.

We are not without sin. We are not without arguing, upset, troubles… we’ve been through hell in the last 16 years. But I can spend every waking moment with him and still miss being with him. I still love him like I did when I said “I do” or when I saw him hold our children for the first time. Through thick and thin and Hell and high waters- I want him in my life. I appreciate who he is and WHO’S he is.

I know for me, if I didn’t have God as my Savior, I’d probably take longer to get over the doubts, get through the distractions and the discouragement would be overbearing. I’d learn to loathe my husband because there is NO way a human could keep up with the world’s demands and still have the motivation to keep a marriage in tact.

But God.

So if you want my take on how our marriage has lasted this long and we are still genuinely happy- It’s all thanks to the sovereign God who takes care of everything we can’t. The God who loves us first, thoroughly and without end.

Our marriage is strong because the expectations we have of each other are limited to what we can actually accomplish. The rest we leave up to our Creator.

Praise God for being enough so we don’t have to be.

If you haven’t been in your Bible, in prayer or worship- here’s your calling to get with God. He can make all things better if you allow Him. His hands are outstretched- you just have to accept Him. I hope you do.