Have you ever just said “Lord. Guide me through this.”?

That pretty much sums up our homeschool session today. And I have to say… it ended better than if I had handled it on my own.

Current situation:
The true test is after the first week of school- when the excitement ends and the work starts. I have one kid who thrives on routine and another who will procrastinate to no end. The trouble comes when the procrastinator tries to compete with the routine child. The routine starts at 8am. The procrastinator doesn’t start until well after lunch, BUT somehow expects and strives to finish school before the routine child. It’s not a fair fight. It causes the procrastinator to cut corners and just try to pass the quiz before doing the lesson.

Obviously, it leaves the procrastinator feeling less than, dumb and frustrated. She also fails often.

All that to say- the procrastinator lost her temper today after failing a quiz 3x in a row. She completely LOST HER MIND, flooded with anger. I yelled to snap her out of it and it just caused more chaos than I’d ever like to have in our home. It’s not the first time. I’m sure it’s not the last.

But aside from yelling to catch her attention, I kept my cool. I stayed level headed- because like I said- this was not the first time we have been in this situation.

HOWEVER- it is the first time we have noticed it come full circle. So the yelling stops and the tears fall. She needs a break. Then we are going to chat. So the sister and I walk away. I text my husband letting him know I need some guiding words. He offers his view and some options to move forward. Sister and I talk about the whole situation and how we can help better next time. After that, the time has come to go back to class and figure out all of the details with the procrastinator.

She’s still agitated. That’s ok. She’s calm enough and knows she needs to explain how she’s feeling and then we will talk about how to move on. But first… first, we pray. We pray that we will be cautious of each other’s feelings. That we will say what needs to be said and nothing more. We pray for a calm heart and a willing brain. We pray like we do every time tempers flare and we feel down about who we are. Because let’s face it- doing things with His thoughts of us is FAR more effective than trying to do anything while we are feeling negative about ourselves.

Prayer said. She speaks first. Explains that it “isn’t fair” that her sister always finishes before her. I explain that her sister starts before her. “It isn’t fair” that her sister passes quizzes on the first try. And I realize this is where it really is.

I ask God to guide me with my words so she can hear Him speak to her. He does. I’m so thankful I asked Him for guidance because she understood immediately.

Here is how it went-
Me: “Just want to make sure I understand your process to pass the quiz. So are you printing the worksheets and following along with the video?”

Her: “No. That takes too long.”

Me: “So are you just passing right to the quiz in hopes that you will pass?”

Her: “Yes and I only got 1 out of 6!! I should have passed like my sister!!”

Me: “Did you do the work like your sister?”

Her: “Well… no.”

Me: “So let’s look at it this way… Try to memorize a verse that you have never heard.” She can’t.

“Try to know what He is telling you, but don’t ever open your Bible, pray or listen.” Impossible.

“Try to follow God, but don’t stay on the path He paved for you.” She admits this would be a lot harder to do.

“If you aren’t following the path laid in front of you and you try to pave your own way, you may succeed in the end. But you will likely fall often, get lost over and over and it’ll take you longer to get where you were intending to go. You may end up in the same place- but which route do you choose after you have seen the map?”

Apparently this is exactly what she needed to hear because after a short break I heard the printer start up. A few minutes later she is ALL smiles because she got a gold coin on her quiz! She followed the directions, which led her on a straight path. She learned the material and passed!

I can see so clearly after this disaster moment, that God gives us everything we need to be fruitful. Everything we need to “get the gold”. But often we think we can pass without doing the work. We can take the shortcuts. We often believe we already know the answers, can guess or can do life without following His path. No wonder we sometimes feel less than, dumb and frustrated. We all fail often, get lost and lose our minds.
Luckily, He doesn’t see us that way. Just as I don’t see my daughter that way. I think she’s the light of the world and the salt of the earth, because He tells me she is. It’s much easier for me to see than in her than in myself.

He offers us grace. We need it. We are His and He is ours. What He thinks about us is what matters- even when we don’t believe it. I know my daughter and even at her worst I still want her. Even at her worst I still know her heart and want to be around her. Actually, it’s when she fails that we connect the most. I’m sure He feels the same way.

So if you are failing, falling often, getting lost over and over and taking longer to get where you are intending to go… open up His guidebook. Say a prayer. Listen to the instruction. And then OBEY. Please know when you think you are less than- His thoughts of you are what you should rely on. Not your own.

Look up Jeremiah 17:9 This may help explain why we shouldn’t rely on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).

And for Proverbs 29:15– My other daughter was doing Bible study while all this was happening. While we the “procrastinator” was cooling down I was helping the “routine”. She wanted to know why the rod, what reprimand meant and how a child could bring her mother shame.
We had a great conversation about why we have rules and why I’m here to help guide them. I often say “we have rules in our home and they are…” and the kids answer “for our own good.” Now she understands the verse in a personal way. (And also why I hold to the rules and why they have consequences if they don’t follow them.)
It’s as if God was speaking to all of us at the same time for a better understanding of everything happening in our home today.

Full circle.

What time can you remember letting go and letting God take over for you? How’d it go?

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