Something shifted last week. I’ve seen it coming, but not with any sort of clarity or true understanding of what it is.

Someone in my life experienced an emergency. This is has happened to my friends before- to my family before. But this one hit a bit different. I still don’t think I’ve processed, so here we go if you’d like to join my roller coaster ride!

I was effected in a way I never expected. In a way I’ve read in books. I may have even seen it in TV shows or movies. I experienced true heartbreak for another human. I felt genuine concern for her and her family and friends… and I counted myself among them. The need to show up had me pacing. The desire to jump in and help in literally any way my friend and community needed was overwhelming. I heard the news of the emergency and had this urgency to stop my life and jump in to whatever needed to be done.

Typing that makes it sound as if I haven’t wanted to help others before. Obviously, I’ve felt that and I’ve jumped in when needed, but something was different inside me this time. There wasn’t even an expectation that I’d be a part of anything and it’s not like she doesn’t have this huge community of people to step in. She does. I could have just sat back and she’d still be taken care of with 100% certainty. Even knowing this, I couldn’t sit still. I knew that I could join a meal train, donate money, send flowers… I knew I’d find a way to contribute to the family. But I found myself pacing and needing to do something immediately. I found myself reaching out and offering, not waiting to be asked or sending the empty “let me know how I can help” messages. I felt like I needed to be with others in this community. Usually I’d isolate. But this time was different.

I promise, I wasn’t heartless before. I swear I had feelings and a love for others. I’ve stepped in and found ways to help in the past and I’ve done it with my whole heart. This time though.. this time, I’m noticing Jesus has just changed my heart in a way I never could. The relationships around me have changed. This may not be my blood or my soul mate, but someone I share life with consistently. Someone I sit next to on Sunday mornings, interact and serve with on a regular basis. I’ve had private conversations, shared prayers and volunteered alongside her and her entire family for years. We are intertwined in a way that I guess I just took for granted. I just expected to see her and laugh at service when her husband drops his cup right after Pastor tells us to keep the carpet clean. I just expected those little moments of acknowledging each other from across the room that have become the normal ritual, to happen every week. Now I’ve realized how frequently we are in the same room and how quickly life can change those moments. God is weaving his community into my life and my life into theirs in such an inconspicuous and convenient way. I’ve prayed for this. Longed for it. And here it is. Showing up for what it is in one of the hardest moments in her life.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this, but I know there has been a shift in my heart. I’m experiencing what a family does for one another. No strings attached. No reservation about who’s doing what, as long as it’s done. Gathering to pray when there’s nothing else we can do- it’s up to the Drs now. Gathering. Like actually showing up for comfort and to comfort each other. Together. Seeing others hurt, pray and praise all in one place for this person we love. No hysterics. No show. No competition or withholding of information for control. Literally all of us in the same place, coming as we are to pray for her healing. Trusting in the same God to provide for her. The same God. The same prayer. The same purpose. All of us. I’ve never been a part of any body of people that can do that. People from all walks of life. Different backgrounds, different hurts, different relationships. All broken and desperate for God to hear their prayers for this one person. All of that for one person who likely still doesn’t even know we gathered in prayer for her. Someone who didn’t have to ask or beg for us to love her. Someone that shows up consistently, mostly in the background, just loving on people. God’s daughter who quietly changes our lives. We all know pieces of her. We all love her. And she never had to do anything aside from be herself.

And because she is hurting, the entire family is hurting. I am honored to realize I am a part of that family. I’ve never been a part of a family like this. I’ll be honest, I don’t really know how to handle it. It’s bittersweet. I’m a part of something so much bigger. Welcomed like a sister, like a daughter, like a friend. I’ve always wanted to be a part of a family like this. But it hurts different. The love I have for this friend, her husband, her kids, her siblings, her parents, her friends and even her dogs… this is something that I can’t even define. I want for them, I dream for them, I pray for them. Without fear, without an expectation of anything in return. This is something new in my life.

Thank God for His family and thank God that I’m a part of it. This is what I’ve been waiting for. Jesus’ blood is the blood that’s thicker than water.

Please pray for my friend. Pray for her husband and her children. Pray for her community. And I pray that each of you find this kind of family. The family that only Jesus can create.